If there was one word I would say others use about me (besides annoying) it would be organized. Which is hilarious because I am probably the least organized person I know. As a matter of fact, I am a complete and total slob. That's right! Just blew your mind didn't I? The above picture is my desk at work. I have been staring at this mess for weeks now thinking to myself, "man...I REALLLLY need to clean this place." But have I, no. Why? Cause I'm lazy like that. Where people have gotten this idea that I'm organized is beyond me. I can't even begin to tell you how many New Years resolutions I have made to become organized. Yet, it has not happened....alas. So basically, I am now sitting here, making fun of myself for my sloppiness and exposing that to the rest of the world. Maybe that will hold me accountable. I don't know. What I do know however is that when I am done with this post, I AM going to clean off my stinking desk.
But the whole organization thing doesn't just fall to work. Oh no...you should see my house. Its clean (granted) but it is highly unorganized. I would like to use the excuse that we just moved and still have unpacking to do, but that excuse will only last so long. I don't even know where I want my furniture to go. At this very moment there is a couch sticking out into the middle of the living room floor. Why? Cause I really have no where else to put it right now. I guess this whole rant was brought on by the fact that I feel overwhelmed. I am overwhelmed by stuff and lack of organization. This isn't an exaggeration. There is something a lot of people don't know about me, that I am going to reveal...for better of for worse. You know how some people freeze up in a stressful situation? That's me with stuff. When the house gets too messy or packing becomes too much or there is just too much stuff surrounding me, I freeze. It's hard to explain but I will try. Example: when we moved this last summer we piled everything into our new place without much thought for where things would actually end up. We just wanted the move to go as fast as possible. I took a day off work to unpack and got nothing done. I found myself standing in the front room just staring at all of the stuff. I had no idea where to start. Its as though my brain stops functioning for a period of time until things become more manageable. For instance, the mixer was sitting in front of me, but I couldn't bring myself to pick it up and put it in the kitchen because it was just too much. Even though I know that's where it goes. When I get overwhelmed, I shut down. My brain stops functioning and I just stare. I actually had to wait for William to get home and start moving stuff before I was able to function again.
I grew up in places that for the most part were clutter free so I guess I never learned how to cope in that type of situation. I am currently suffering from the freeze syndrome with my bedroom. Which is a cluttered disaster. It's so bad that some nights I go in there and want nothing more than to just turn around and go sleep on the couch. At least its confined to my room though and not the rest of the place. Some days I want nothing more than to purge my house of anything that is unnecessary, and trust me there is a lot that can go. Maybe that is what I should spend time focusing on in the new year. De-cluttering, simplifying and organizing. Maybe then I can finally live up to that whole "your so organized..." that I often hear from others. Cause bob only knows, right now, it isn't true!
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